Help With Harsh Relationships

I recently received an email from an Effortless Power subscriber, who asked me for some advice on relationships.  I share this with you in case it may be of some benefit to your life.


Hello my friend,

I think I understand your situation.  I’ve gone through several harsh relationships in my life, and sometimes even the one I’m in now seems harsh on occassion, although I understand the harshness comes from myself and not necessarily from my partner.

I had been married once before.  This past February (2005) I married my current partner, Linda.  I’ve no kids and don’t expect to take on that responsibility, since I feel a great responsibility to the world at large.

I don’t worry about the knowledge of true Power falling into the wrong hands, primarily because those who try to use Power for harmful purposes will harm themselves more so than anyone else. Since Power always creates for ourselves what we focus upon, anyone who focuses upon sickness or destruction of another person will end up having Power create sickness and destruction in their own lives as well.

One of the core principles of the Keys To Power system is the fact that Power is always creating your experiences, and those experiences are created based on your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.  Since this is true, it follows that anything that happens in our lives was created from our own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, whether we understand the connection or not.

It took me years to understand the connection, even though I studied practically every system of religion and magick I could. The one thread that runs through all of them is that you get results based on what you believe.

No matter how much you may WANT something, you’ll never get it until you BELIEVE that you can.  If you ask yourself the question “What is most likely to happen?”, your honest answer shows what you really believe.

Of course, there can be multiple “systems” of believe within us. Sometimes we fully believe that we will find the right partner, but if we also believe that we have ‘bad luck’ or that happiness constantly eludes us, then those beliefs will counteract our positive belief and create undesirable experiences.

That’s why in the Step by Step course, the lessons follow the pattern they do, to help the student to uncover the related beliefs and underlying assumptions that form the foundation for the more conscious beliefs.  In Avatar terminology these are called ‘transparent beliefs’, because they are beliefs we consider facts beyond questioning.

In order to find out what you really believe about relationships, take an hour or so and write down everything you think you ‘know’ about relationships.  Write down every fact, every pattern you’ve seen, and then realize that these are only one possible reality. You can create another reality where these things are very different.

To create another reality for yourself, you must first distance yourself from your present reality.  I do this with extended meditations, but some people do it with a vacation, or a trip to the movies, or even by engaging in a pleasureable activity, such as roller skating or gardening.

When you’ve been able to bring yourself into a positive frame of mind, you will be in a better position to create the reality you desire.  There won’t be any traces of the disappointments or frustrations that would otherwise contaminate your creation of a better future.

Say to yourself, right now:  “I can have what I want.”

How do you feel with that?  If you’re like most people, you might feel a little uneasy, thinking that the statement may be a little too bold, or that there may be something wrong with getting what you want.

If you feel that way, you will want to work on that feeling before working with Power to create anything.  Simply because if you BELIEVE that it’s wrong to get what you want, then you will direct Power to prevent you from getting it.

Ponder the concept that it’s not only okay for you to get what you want, but it’s the way you were meant to live your life.  You were created as a being able to use Power to create.  Why would you have this ability if it were not for the purpose of getting what you want?

When you can say the above affirmation and feel good about it, then you will have an easier time directing Power to create your desired future.

One thing that I’ve found helps to condition our beliefs to accept a new concept is something I call “creative daydreaming”. This is consciously directed daydreaming about the things you want for the sole purpose of conditioning your mind to accept the experiences as being normal and natural for you in your life.

Once an experience feels normal and natural to you, you will have an easier time creating it.

Spend some time daydreaming about being in a satisfying, loving relationship, and know that you are preparing your inner circuits for the effective use of Power to create such a relationship.

While you are doing this, imagine what it would feel like to have the emotion of love completely fill your being, overflowing from you to fill the whole world.  Imagine that you are a spring from which the Infinite Power of Love flows forth, healing, nurturing, and sustaining the world.  Imagine that you are an incarnation of Love itself.

When you do this, you are tapping into Power at the deepest level, and everything you do from that point on will attract the best of all things into your life.

Be blessed, my friend, and bless the world as well as yourself.